Test to reveal if you are Isle of Wight native or Caulkhead

This will ensure that anyone wishing to cross our borders and become a true Islander really knows their garlic.

An early draft has found its way into my hands, so I thought you’d like to have a go!

Q1. The most important Isle of Wight annual event is:

A. The Isle of Wight Festival; B. Ventnor Fringe; C. The Chillerton and Gatcombe Scarecrow Festival; D. Derek Sandy live at Appley Park.

Which one will you choose?

Q2. What is the Isle of Wight’s most popular pastime?

A. Stand-up paddleboarding; B. Queuing for a ferry; C. Moaning; D. Moaning about other people moaning.

Q3. When approaching a mini-roundabout in a car, what is the correct etiquette?

A. Slow down and only enter the junction when safe to do so; B. Wave and smile at any other driver waiting to enter before proceeding with caution; C. Come to a complete halt and flash your main beam; D. Take a long run-up, get a good head of speed and shoot right over the middle.

Q4. What Isle of Wight foodstuff is typically most revered by Islanders?

A. Newchurch Pie at the Blacksmiths; B. Isle of Wight Blue Cheese ice cream at Crave, Ventnor; C. Garlic beer; D. The last plate of chips from Red Funnel’s ReFuel canteen on a Friday night.

How do you define 'gallybagger'?

Q5. What is a ‘Gallybagger’?

A. One of those old boats at Yarmouth? Or something?; B. A scarecrow; C. A cheese; D. A word synthesised by W H Long in 1886.

Q6. What would be the most suitable costume for Cowes Week?

A. Complete set of this year’s Helly Hansen; B. Red trousers (gents) or Alice band (ladies); C. Anything beerproof; D. Cosplay as Richard Branson to get access to the ‘special menu’ at the Bahar.

RESULTS:

Mostly A: You’re too fresh off the boat

Mostly B: Ok, maybe you’re not quite a grockle any more

Mostly C: Now you’re starting to think like an Islander

Mostly D: Congratulations nippur, you’re an official Caulkhead!

ISLANDERS WILL REMEMBER WHEN DEREK SANDY TOOK PART IN BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT...